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March 8
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(Contains: nudity)
Intercepted outgoing message from Miranda Lawson's voicemail account (intended recipient unknown):

"Let me tell you something about Kai Leng.  We were best friends during Cerberus training.  I know, right?  It's so embarrassing.  I don't even...  Whatever.  So then during the Lazarus Project, I started trying to resurrect Commander Shepard, and even though she was dead Kai was like, weirdly jealous of her.  Like, if I would blow him off to mess around with Shepard's new spleen or whatever, he'd be like, 'Why didn't you call me back?'  And I'd be like, 'Why are you so obsessed with me?'  So then, for my shore leave party, which was an all good-guys pool party, I was like, 'Kai, I can't invite you, because I think you're a homicidal maniac.'  I mean, I couldn't have a homicidal maniac at my party.  There were gonna be heroes there who were saving the galaxy.  I mean, right?  He was EVIL.  So then the Illusive Man called Commander Shepard and started yelling at her--it was so retarded.  And then he got all these cyber-implants and ninja skills and thought he could kill Shepard, and now I guess he's impaled."

---

I know, I know--there's characters missing.  I really wanted to include Grunt, Wrex, Javik, Samara, EDI... maybe even Daniels, Donnelly, Chakwas, Hackett, Urz and space hamster.  But the scene was getting pretty crowded (it's maybe too crowded already), and I had to cut it off somewhere.  :(

I've probably had this idea in my head ever since seeing this amazing piece by morgenty, so it's definitely at least partially inspired by that.  (And Miranda's message was inspired by a friend who's somehow never seen "Mean Girls", so hopefully she'll fix that problem soon, if she hasn't already...  ;) )

---

Created in XPS

Models used:
Kacey Shepard by PrincessFelia
Liara T'Soni by HatOfAss
Jack by ethaclane, Lovelymaiden, & me
Miranda Lawson by o0Crofty0o
Garrus Vakarian by The-JoeBlack
Tali'Zorah vas Normandy by SumireHaikuXNA
Zaeed Massani by Just-Jasper
Samantha Traynor by SonYume, xX-DorianGray-Xx, & me
Kelly Chambers by SonYume, xX-DorianGray-Xx, & me
Kasumi Goto by Just-Jasper
James Vega by deexie
Steve Cortez by SonYume
Joker by SumireHaikuXNA
Ashley Williams by PrincessFelia
pool setting by Oo-FiL-oO
misc. ME3 items by Just-Jasper & Melllin
omnitool by SumireHaikuXNA
dogtags by KurauAmami
misc. beach items by deexie
...and... many other things that I sort of lost track of what I used and where I got it all from.  Sorry.

"Mass Effect" models and characters created by Bioware.
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:iconjulianhellsing:
julianhellsing Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014
This is funny!!

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:icondblack930:
DBlack930 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you!  :D  This one was a lot of fun to do...  :nod:
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:iconjerzul:
Jerzul Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2014
This was awesome! Thank you!
Reply
:icondblack930:
DBlack930 Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you (and you're welcome :D )!  I'm glad you liked it!  :dance:
Reply
:iconadrianosfidiharem:
AdrianosFidiHarem Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014
is Mass Effect or Mass Erect ?
Reply
:icondblack930:
DBlack930 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Either or both, I guess.  :shrug: :)
Reply
:iconaaaaceace:
aaaaceace Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014
I fully support this picture if only because it helps to demonstrate why Kai Leng sucks.  
Reply
:icondblack930:
DBlack930 Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Maybe he's just misunderstood?  :(







Nah, he probably just sucks...  :D
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:iconaaaaceace:
aaaaceace Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2014
On my list of worst villains of all time Kai Leng is number 2, beaten only by Hugo Strange from Arkham City.
Reply
:iconydgsadgasgd:
ydgsadgasgd Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014
Yeah, he does suck.

[SPOILER AHEAD]

In the seventh issue of the Mass Effect: Foundation comic, the Illusive Man sends him and Maya Brooks after Jack and she kicks both of their asses really hard. One of the most satisfying moments in the ME comics. :D
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